Where the heck have I been...?
Good question... four + years since my last entry. My artistic path overgrown with weeds, broken sign posts and a smudged map. Clearly, I stepped off the path and have been wading through the fields of distractions that flank either side. I haven't been idle in other areas of my life, so why do I put my artwork on "hold"? That, my friends, is the million dollar question. It's a good question and one that I've never been able to answer. I have done this, time and time, again, throughout my entire adulthood. Sure, there are the times, in the past decade - aggravating times - concerning my studio space. It seems like about every three years, for the past decade, my studio has undergone some disaster, that makes it unusable for extended periods of time, the longest being the most recent stretch of a couple of years. Two days ago, I finally got the last item into place and now, I can actually start using the studio again. So that takes care of that facet of the question. But if I was really driven, lack of work space shouldn't stop me, right? What is another aspect, that seems to stall my efforts?
Aside from the studio problems, LIFE happened:
1. I became a grandmother, two years ago. Woo hoo!
2. I jumped back into the "Two Frogs Studios" pond last year, for an extensive 6 month job. So large, I had to hire a crew to help me!
3. My Lizzy, who has been the subject of many paintings, got married.
4. Another "Two Frogs" project. Fun! A wine room.
5. Major kitchen renovation.
The kitchen renovation (down to the studs), was the last mess for my studio to overcome because my studio is directly below the kitchen and just when I was finally pulling my studio together after the epic flood. *sigh*... I finally gave up cleaning up debris and dust in my studio, after cleaning it a third time. It was like beating my head against a wall. Every time I was told, "Sure, go ahead and clean your studio. It should be fine", another contractor would do something else and down would come the dust/dirt onto my worktable, my palette, etc. The one thing that made the debris sorta, kinda worse than the epic flood was that dust/dirt from the 90 year-old walls and flooring floated down everywhere. Every. Single. Item. in the studio had to be wiped off, ceiling to floor, every nook, cranny, places unimaginable... dust/dirt. Ugh.
So, those are some of the weeds of distraction that I've been wading through, in the four years I've been AWOL from my easel. But it still doesn't quite address that strange characteristic of how I step off my artistic path for literally years at a time. Like I said, I've done that throughout my adulthood. I've never quite been able to put my finger on why. I have some theories...
My first "dry spell" was after I got married the first time. I was just shy of 20 years-old. Yes, that's young by today's standards, but not so much, back in the early '70's. There was no particular reason I can think of, but I never even lifted so much as a pencil. I didn't miss it. No one was stopping me. I simply didn't "do art". That lasted ten years... ten, flipping' years... It never once crossed my mind that I wasn't "doing art". I was working in an Emergency Room.
After that marriage ended, I got back "into art" when I started taking classes at a community college. I started out by taking required courses for any degree and I got to the point when I had to start focusing. So, I started taking art classes. I surprised the heck out of my, now husband, back then boyfriend, when he saw my "homework". He had no idea I could draw. He had never seen me pick up a pencil. I got the Associates Degree, and continued my education by getting a B.A. from College for Creative Studies. The artist had awakened.
I started traveling on a slightly different path and formed, Two Frogs Studios, because I became smitten with wall finishes. I loved what paint could do to a wall outside of being just a solid color on a wall. So, blah, blah, blah... fast forward to today.
Aside from the studio issue, why have I not produced any art, so to speak, for the last four years? I think part of it has to do with the fact that after the show I had at the Scarab Club, in 2013, I was dissatisfied with my artwork. I want something more from myself. Now, it would make sense to keep painting, right? I would have, but I had no desire to do so. Plus, the studio was wallowing in the flood aftermath. Complete destruction. So, I let the weeds grow... up around my ankles, then my knees and it got very hard to find my way out, but I really didn't care.
I've, also, wondered if one of the reasons I step away from my art for so long and don't miss it, is that I assume it will always be there when I want it to reappear. It has in the past, so apparently, I feel it always will be there for me. That may end up being a terrible folly on my part. A decade ago, I wanted more from my artwork, but now, I just want to do it for me. When I say that, I don't mean it as literal as it sounds. What I do mean is that I just want to produce what I want, what I feel, what will make me grow. I don't want to produce for show entries and what jurors might want. I don't want to think about those things. I just want to feel my art.
And that's where I've been and where I am now.
Aside from the studio problems, LIFE happened:
1. I became a grandmother, two years ago. Woo hoo!
2. I jumped back into the "Two Frogs Studios" pond last year, for an extensive 6 month job. So large, I had to hire a crew to help me!
3. My Lizzy, who has been the subject of many paintings, got married.
4. Another "Two Frogs" project. Fun! A wine room.
5. Major kitchen renovation.
The kitchen renovation (down to the studs), was the last mess for my studio to overcome because my studio is directly below the kitchen and just when I was finally pulling my studio together after the epic flood. *sigh*... I finally gave up cleaning up debris and dust in my studio, after cleaning it a third time. It was like beating my head against a wall. Every time I was told, "Sure, go ahead and clean your studio. It should be fine", another contractor would do something else and down would come the dust/dirt onto my worktable, my palette, etc. The one thing that made the debris sorta, kinda worse than the epic flood was that dust/dirt from the 90 year-old walls and flooring floated down everywhere. Every. Single. Item. in the studio had to be wiped off, ceiling to floor, every nook, cranny, places unimaginable... dust/dirt. Ugh.
So, those are some of the weeds of distraction that I've been wading through, in the four years I've been AWOL from my easel. But it still doesn't quite address that strange characteristic of how I step off my artistic path for literally years at a time. Like I said, I've done that throughout my adulthood. I've never quite been able to put my finger on why. I have some theories...
My first "dry spell" was after I got married the first time. I was just shy of 20 years-old. Yes, that's young by today's standards, but not so much, back in the early '70's. There was no particular reason I can think of, but I never even lifted so much as a pencil. I didn't miss it. No one was stopping me. I simply didn't "do art". That lasted ten years... ten, flipping' years... It never once crossed my mind that I wasn't "doing art". I was working in an Emergency Room.
After that marriage ended, I got back "into art" when I started taking classes at a community college. I started out by taking required courses for any degree and I got to the point when I had to start focusing. So, I started taking art classes. I surprised the heck out of my, now husband, back then boyfriend, when he saw my "homework". He had no idea I could draw. He had never seen me pick up a pencil. I got the Associates Degree, and continued my education by getting a B.A. from College for Creative Studies. The artist had awakened.
I started traveling on a slightly different path and formed, Two Frogs Studios, because I became smitten with wall finishes. I loved what paint could do to a wall outside of being just a solid color on a wall. So, blah, blah, blah... fast forward to today.
Aside from the studio issue, why have I not produced any art, so to speak, for the last four years? I think part of it has to do with the fact that after the show I had at the Scarab Club, in 2013, I was dissatisfied with my artwork. I want something more from myself. Now, it would make sense to keep painting, right? I would have, but I had no desire to do so. Plus, the studio was wallowing in the flood aftermath. Complete destruction. So, I let the weeds grow... up around my ankles, then my knees and it got very hard to find my way out, but I really didn't care.
I've, also, wondered if one of the reasons I step away from my art for so long and don't miss it, is that I assume it will always be there when I want it to reappear. It has in the past, so apparently, I feel it always will be there for me. That may end up being a terrible folly on my part. A decade ago, I wanted more from my artwork, but now, I just want to do it for me. When I say that, I don't mean it as literal as it sounds. What I do mean is that I just want to produce what I want, what I feel, what will make me grow. I don't want to produce for show entries and what jurors might want. I don't want to think about those things. I just want to feel my art.
And that's where I've been and where I am now.
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